Huge good things happening, Thank God

What a whirlwind.
Since I came back from the US a month ago, I literally hit the ground running, getting things ready for Azriel's BarMitzvah, and for the high holidays. Things have been amazing... with the pain shots still in effect, I can live life. I can Live Life. It's been a long time since I could say that for more than one blog post in a row.

One big theme this month has been for me to re-learn how to be in life, and what are my present needs. It's not as simple as one would think. I spent most of a year inactive, dealing with intense pain. Then, all-of-a-sudden, one day, the pain disappeared (mostly). I came back, and without any physical or emotional rehab, just jumped back into life. It has left me at times distraught, needing down time, needing lots of alone time, and extremely tired on a regular basis. My migraines are returning, too, unfortunately. Fairly regularly. I got some good "front line" medicine "imported" from when I went to Colorado... and that is helping, but not sure what to do when that runs out. They don't sell that type here.

I need a lot of down time, I'm exhausted a lot. I need a lot of quiet time. I think I've gotten used to the slower life style of being in constant pain, opting out of many things. Not that G-d forbid I *want* that, no no no. I just have to strike a balance.

I also know in the back of my head that this being out of pain thing may not be "for keeps". It might be, but it might wear off in about a month, too. No way to know. I haven't yet found an anesthesiologist who has the right equipment to do these shots... but I haven't exhausted all my resources yet. And, in the back of my head, the reconstruction surgery lurks, with a big question mark next to it. First I'll get the MRI for the doctor in NY, then we'll go from there. By then I may know if the pain shot effects are wearing off or not.

Moving right along... LIFE! Life is moving right along.

I am now the proud momma to FOUR teenagers! Azriel turned 13, and my oldest is one month shy of being 20, so for one month in my life, I have four teenagers in the house! Baruch Hashem. And what kids they are. I am so proud of each one of them and the stages they are at in their lives, I feel tremendous blessing. Being able to enjoy Azriel's BarMitzvah with him was such a blessing, I don't have words to describe my tremendous gratitude to G-d for making that happen.

There were three stages to this BarMitzvah. The first stage was for Azriel to read from the Torah, for his first time ever, in the synagogue that his great-grandfather (on Robert's mother's side) used to pray. This is a tremendous thing, Robert's ancestors were some of the original settlers of the northern Israel town of Rosh Pina, in 1878. The synagogue they prayed in still stands, and has the original floors and seats, and even some art work painted by Robert's grandfather. You can imagine how special it was for this youngest of the Klein family to carry on tradition to read Torah there. We had very special guests with us there also, Robert's northern cousins who still live there. His oldest cousin is nearly 100 years old, may he be blessed for many more years of health and strength! That hundred year old cousin joined us, and was right next to Azriel when Azriel read Torah. Monumental.

Azriel and cousin Aviv, almost 100 years old, who was born in Rosh Pina.

Dovie carrying the Torah

Ya'akov doing "hagba", holding the open Torah, high, for all to see

The sign on the ancient synagogue

We made an overnight of the event. Rosh Pina is a long drive from our town of Be'er Sheva, so we stayed with some other cousins of Robert's. My brother Peter was with us, as well as Robert's brother Michael. It was so deeply special.

We returned from Rosh Pina with a day and a half to prepare for the big part of the BarMitzvah, Azriel's Torah reading for Shabbat. And a big kiddush (lots of wine & food for many people after services) had to be organized. I had been cooking all week, but it was still a daunting task. But we all did it together. Azriel's Torah reading was beautiful, wearing his new suit. He did the whole portion, the haftorah, and gave a d'var Torah... which is a speech giving a lesson learned from the Torah portion. All and all, we were beaming with pride.

But what a busy time! I had a houseful of family (extended), and out-of-town guests put up with my friends and neighbors. I am *so* grateful for everyone who helped with the accommodations and making meals! I could NOT have done it without you all! Especially the Quinns, Greens, Wachspress's and Shapira's. Thank you with all my heart!!

With the part of the BarMitzvah with the most pressure for Azriel being over, we immediately had to switch into Rosh Hashana mode... it was coming the next day. Lots more food preparation, cleaning, laundry, and hosting family & friends! I started out this blog by saying what a whirlwind, and I meant it!

Rosh Hashana is sort of like two days of Shabbat in a row, so lots of preparations, emotionally as well as physically. Thankfully we were invited out for a few meals, so that made things a bit easier overall.
As opposed to last year when I spent most of Rosh Hashana in bed, this year I was in synagogue for all the services, and got to pray standing up as much as I wanted. It is really like a miracle to me to be relieved of that abdominal pain. A pure miracle.

With Rosh Hashana over, we had one day which was a day of fast. It was welcome after all those big meals!
Then after the fast day was Azriel's big party at the beautiful event hall. That was last night. It was *beautiful*, if I do say so myself. It very much represented the humble boy (man?!) Azriel is, and his friends showed him a great time! One table was full of 13 year old boys. It was quite fun. We used the same DJ which we used for Shifra's BatMitzvah three years ago, and he was spectacular. Perfect for us. The food (which I didn't have to cook!) was fabulous, the atmosphere beautiful and intimate, and having our friends and community celebrate with us is just the best, warmest thing in the world.

I missed my parents, though. I actually cried a lot about it the morning before the party. The mourning was so palpable. I really really miss especially my father (he died most recently). Also of course Robert's parents were missed. I wrote in my speech to Azriel "May the memories of Naomi and Dolph Klein, and Theda and Philip Kashin always be blessed, and may their best attributes be carried on in your life." I didn't dance at the BarMitzvah because of the mourning practises during the first year of a parent's death. That was hard (not to dance), but I appreciate honoring my parent's memories that way.

Last night after the party, we all didn't get to sleep until 2:30 am. Everyone was exhausted but also wound up, and Azriel *had* to open all his presents, of course! What a night. It was so blessed and beautiful, thank G-d. I wrote my speech for him based on this blog entry... it was the blessing I had written for Azriel when he was 3 and a half, and I was scared to go into a big surgery the next day. I wrote a blessing for each of my kids just in case they have nothing else to hold onto from me after that surgery. I was that scared. The speech went into detail about those attributes I wrote about him, and how that is still him. It was a true blessing to take those words written then in fear, and change them to all good, positive energy.

I've had a houseful of relatives non-stop for a few weeks, and that has also been great. The kids have had a continuous supply of uncles (and an aunt for the barmitzvah Shabbat!) and cousins. It's all good.

Today I had the opportunity to help a mommy who had given birth 12 days ago, and was having nursing problems. When I came into my house after synagogue, she was there waiting for me with a puffy face, having been crying, and holding her fussy/crying baby. I had helped her give birth to her last baby (not so long ago-- a year & 4 months ago! The same age difference between my first two), and I was so honored that she came for help. We spent an hour in my bedroom learning about the issues and learning how to fix them. An hour later a happy mommy and sleeping baby left to go on their way. Oh my gosh, it is soooo fulfilling to help moms & babies! Can I start thinking about maybe going back to that a bit?

Can I rely on being out of pain? No. Can I know I won't need that big abdominal surgery? No.
But in a little while, I may be ready to try again... if the pain doesn't return, I'll have more confidence to go forward. If it does, well, I'll have to take it from there. I still have to find someone who can administer these nerve block shots here in Israel.

But for now, a few pictures from the BarMitzvah (taken with my cell phone, not the professional ones yet) to close this. I feel a headache coming on...

Dov giving his beautiful speech to Azriel

Robert giving his speech/blessings to Azriel

My brother Peter singing one of Azriel's favorite songs to him
(Shifra holding words/chord sheet)

Doesn't that smile say it all?

Shifra, me, and my dear friend Miriam

The proud parents